Don’t build your own glass ceiling.
Viewing entries tagged
perspective
“A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives your roses.” – Chinese Proverb
“You don’t go broke by making money.” – Rick Jackson
“No one matures in bitterness.” – Lynch, McNicol, and Thrall
I heard Joey Harrington, the famed college quarterback who floundered in the NFL, talk recently about failure and not living up to expectations. He mentioned the challenges of having “Instagram life” and trying to keep up with the virtual Joneses. To illustrate his point, he showed the mocking social handle @SocialityBarbie, where the Mattel doll was placed in “typical”, white-washed posts online to mock how people aren’t authentic online. If you haven’t seen it, it’s definitely worth a look and a laugh.
But a more serious thought occurred to me. I was struck by the interesting phrase, “Instagram life.” Instagram is a platform, sure. It’s a social technology, sure. But it’s also a brand. What other technology brand gives you “life”? I’ve never heard someone refer to their “Whirlpool life,” or their “Arco life” or their “TiVO life.” No, it’s an Instagram life. Or a Facebook life. Or perhaps even a LinkedIn life. The platform where a corporate brand and a person’s identity combine into something resembling…well, neither.
As I reflect on this, I think any “life” that is so one-sided as to only show the good, is no life at all. We all know heartache and the lessons that disappointment have taught. Any “life” that can be seemingly controlled, curated, and “hashtagged” (is that a verb yet?), isn’t a life. Real life is famously (and infuriatingly) uncontrolled, filled with surprises (both good and bad), and defies simple labels. Unlike an “Instagram life,” real life is neither “instant” nor just a “gram” (ie, a communication). It is an experience of sorrow and triumph and better lived together. Not socially (as in social media), but socially (as in human connection).
"Success is what happens after you've survived all of your mistakes." - Lauren Maillian, Founder and CEO of LMB Group
A study at Harvard, asked subjects to cut into a line of strangers waiting to make photocopies. When they asked simply if they could use the photocopier (saying “Excuse me. May I use the machine?” for instance), subjects were successful 60% of the time. However, when a reason beginning with the word “because” was added (“May I use the photocopier because I’m in a rush”), the request gained instant credibility, and compliance skyrocketed to 94%.
What’s more amazing, it didn’t seem to matter what the given reason was (“May I use the photocopier, because I need to make copies”), compliance remained at about the same level, 93%.
This is a lesson in persuasion that all of us can apply. Giving people the benefit of an explanation makes us more influential. I highly advise against giving a dumb or non-sensical reason (“I need to make copies, because I need to make copies”). I imagine that would help your cause today, but hurt your credibility long term. But giving people the courtesy of a reasonable and relevant “because” will make all the difference.
Seth Godin sited a survey in a presentation on which students were asked if they wanted to be a CEO of a global company, president of a non-profit, or the personal assistant to a famous singer or actor. And over 40% of the respondents said “personal assistant.” He described that the role of a personal assistant is close enough to the action to have bragging rights and to be part of the fun, but far enough away as to avoid the responsibility and vulnerability that comes with being in charge.
Are you afraid of responsibility? Do you select roles where you are supporting others, implementing their ideas, or working their priorities? Teamwork is critical and collaboration important, but do you work on teams to avoid personal accountability for the results of your actions? Are you quick to blame others when things are not successful? Are you comfortable and confident enough in your skills and opinions to advocate for them?
As Theodore Roosevelt said in his speech “Citizenship in a Republic” given in France in 1910, “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
See you in the arena!
This is the first year ever that my family is going to be out of our home country during the holiday season. Although not everyone will travel to exotic (and warm!) locales during this traditional vacation-laden time of the year, but there are three reasons why everyone should consider taking a proper break during the holidays.
It sounds strange for me to defend the value of a vacation, but the statistics are pretty alarming: US workers simply don’t utilize their time off. I assume it is similar worldwide. Vacation hours, even the “use it or lose it variety,” go unused. And in the modern era of always-connected, device-toting knowledge workers, even days of PTO can be consumed with email, texts, and keeping tabs on projects.
1. Vacations are a release valve.
We recently say the hosts of Discovery Channel’s Mythbusters in a live show at a local theater. While explaining how they caused a household water heater to explode magnificently, Adam Savage made a poignant observation. “Water,” he explained, “boils at 212 degrees Fahrenheit. Unless it’s under pressure. Then it gets stupid and forgets to boil.” It is this expansion effect that can lead to magnificent explosions as the air trapped inside the water heater compresses and then releases.
I think we humans are the same. Under pressure, we can get stupid. We can get harried and stressed. We can do our own form of expansion as the negative parts of our personality, like our impatience or intolerance, are amplified. We forget what we were designed and gifted to do. What otherwise we’d do without thinking about (like treating strangers or co-workers with a degree of kindness), we forget.
Vacations can be a bit of a release valve. After all, pressure only builds in a closed system (like that of a sealed water heater). If some air can escape, then the water can return to it’s normal operating state. That is the hope of a vacation. To make people less stupid.
2. Vacations provide perspective.
Sometimes getting away from something can provide you a whole new perspective and a new set of solutions to draw from. Marcel Proust has been quoted that “the real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” Many professionals in creative fields, find it useful to step away from their problems or work, to take a walk, work on something else, or even goof off a little, only to return to the work refreshed and ready to see the solution that might have been in front of them the whole time.
Although there is a temptation to get things “wrapped up” before leaving the office for the holiday, it might be wise to leave some tricky problems waiting for your return in January. You’ll return with new eyes and have a better chance of coming up with a better resolution than you might have under the pressure of deadlines in December.
3. Vacations allow us to appreciate normal
Despite the fun of the vacation and the excitement of news sights and sounds, there is always something nice about coming home again. Sleeping in your own bed. Being able to wash clothes and eat at home. The space to spread out after being cooped up in a hotel room or a car (a “little too much togetherness” at times). Sometimes getting away allows you to better appreciate “home,” even if you don’t travel far. The familiar routines take on new comforts. The places and people that you took for granted now seen through new eyes of gratitude.
So, whether you are fleeing the country for this season or staying close to home, I wish you a very merry and warm holiday! I will be seeing you and the world with new eyes this coming new year and I wish the same for you.
This article was published on LinkedIn.