Sliding Doors and Decision Making

The actor Gwyneth Paltrow starred in a 1998 romantic comedy-drama Sliding Doors.  In it, two storylines about one character, Helen, diverge separated by whether or not she made it to the train on the time one day.  In one plot line, she catches her boyfriend doing bad and strikes out on a whole new path, with new gumption and new haircut.  In the other, Helen is mugged, spends time in a hospital, and has a rash of other unfortunate events.  It is a thought-provoking movie and it is entertaining because we see both scenarios playing out together in parallel.  Of course, Helen is only living one life at a time and can’t see what the other alternatives look like.  It is only at the end that we realize that a good outcome would be possible via either path she took.

In the movie, the two story lines are separated by chance, but they stem from the question “do I get on this train or not?”  I know many of us sometimes wish we could watch the Sliding Doors version of our own decisions in the same way.  Which path would lead to successful outcomes and what path would lead to heartache, disappointment, or failure?  If we could see it play out on the big screen, we could make the right choice.

Ruth Chang is a philosopher.  She is a professor and chair of jurisprudence at the University of Oxford.  She is known for her research on the “incommensurability of values and on practical reason and normativity.”  In other words, she is an expert in making hard choices between options that are difficult or impossible to measure objectively.  In her TEDSalon talk a few years ago, she spoke more about how to compare the incomparable.  Her advice reminded me of Sliding Doors in three ways.

1.       We want to know how the story ends, but instead we only get to see how it starts

The audience of Sliding Doors gets a rare benefit of knowing what the outcome of two different choices played out.  Dr. Chang says in her talk that she wished “God or Netflix would send me a DVD of my two possible future careers,” in her example, so she would have chosen wisely between philosophy and law.  Sadly, this is not an option we have in real life.  Comparing Helen’s scenarios side-by-side allows the movie audience to clearly know the better, easier, more direct path to happiness.  But Helen only sees the start of her story and as it plays out day by day.  If she had been more honest with herself at the start she probably would have ditched the do-nothing boyfriend on her own (train or no train) and started off into her best new life.  Facing the truth and doing an honest assessment of where you are starting is important.

2.       Some choices can’t be weighed on a pro or con list

Dr. Chang proposes that “hard choices are not hard because of us or our ignorance; they’re hard because there no best option.”  You can’t put a number on values like beauty, kindness, joy, and justice (although we try).  They can’t be measured in length, mass, and weight.  She continues, “As post-Enlightenment creatures, we tend to assume that scientific thinking holds the key to everything of importance in our world, but the world of value is different from the world of science.” They are hard to characterize simply into pros and cons.  They go deeper and require more self-reflection and consideration, not of the external circumstances and opportunities, but of what is important to you. 

3.       No matter the choice, you choose you

In the movie, Helen was a smart, capable person.  In both scenarios.  The better outcome wasn’t a function of her intelligence.  Because this American romantic comedy stayed true to the genre, in the end of the movie, she had the promise of the best outcome in either scenario.  The only thing consistent about the two scenarios was Helen.  This is true of the choices we make as well.  Because the true outcome is unknown and unwritten, any choice you make is a bet on yourself, in many ways.  You should reflect on whether on whether one choice or another will be more true to your values, easier to execute (important that we acknowledge that, because if we are honest it factors in more than we think), or more fulfilling in some way (or which might be more fun).  In Dr. Chang’s career dilemma, she made the choice that brought her sliding doors back together.  She earned her J.D. from Harvard Law School and a D.Phil. from University of Oxford, is a practicing philosopher, and chair of the jurisprudence at her university according to her website.  In the end, it seems she bet on herself and found ways (plural) to bring her interests and talents together in a unique way.

Business decisions often work in the same way.  Being self-reflective and facing the truths of your circumstance, being stubborn on your values, and betting on yourself and your team to find a way (or many ways) is the only way you have to achieve the best outcomes.

Originally appeared on the Well Made Decisions blog.

On Relationships

“An intimate relationship is a study in everything that is wrong with you. Think about it.” – Gweneth Paltrow

On World View

“Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.” – George Bernard Shaw

Who is Your Boss? The Answer Might Surprise You

This seems like a simple question. One that would be easy to answer. But for those of us in a customer-facing and customer-impacting role or with big ambitions for our career, it is the kind of multiple choice question that leads to new insights and creates different day-to-day priorities and strategies. 

WHO Do You Work for?

Option 1: You work for your employer. This is the most obvious one. You are employed by an organization from which you receive a paycheck. You have a boss (or several). Your boss might have a boss. Your goals are aligned to the financial or strategic goals of the business and the goals of those bosses. And your primary job is to advocate for the company with customers to create enterprise value for the investors of your company and the leadership who is advocating their interest. With this mindset, the importance of “managing up” is clear. Internal relationship building and being visible in the organization is critical. Whether your manager is collaborative, a micro-manager, or empowering, this view dominates the work landscape.

Option 2: You work for your customers. For marketing professionals and other customer-facing roles, this can be a very useful perspective for day-to-day prioritization. Customers ultimately pay the bills and drive growth and profit in the company. Often customer advocacy and resulting business results can lead to personal rewards. If your goals are aligned to the business goals of your customer, this can lead to great partnership and can optimize long-term customer value. Customer experience and customer service are paramount and are driving enterprise value (not the other way around). With this mindset, the importance of customer relationship building is clear. You need to spend time with your boss, after all.  And your primary job is to advocate or the customer within the company.

Option 3: You work for yourself. Perhaps you are self-employed, consult, or rocking the gig economy, but even if you are not, it is helpful to consider this perspective. Even if you are an employee, you own your own career. You own your own development. And for most of us, we own how we apply our time and energy to the various problems and opportunities we face daily. Ultimately, you choose to join companies, which customers or markets you focus on, and how you pursue your personal passions over time. And with this approach, your primary job is to advocate for yourself with customers and the company, to align their goals with the work you want to pursue. In my experience, this perspective comes to the forefront in times of transition or discontent, but otherwise is under-prioritized. 

As you consider your answer, know that it truly is a multiple choice question. Your answer will likely be a mix of all three and will vary over time as needs and priorities changes. 

In any case, I highly recommend you spending time, being mentored by, and really understanding the needs of all three of your bosses - your employer, your customers, and yourself – to ensure that you are performing up to your fullest potential.   We often don’t listen to ourselves or give ourselves the same compassionate and honest advice we would give to colleagues or our employees, even though we could benefit from the self-reflection. And most of us don’t ask or receive advice frequently enough from our employers or our customers and we should regularly seek out the gift of feedback. Armed with these insights, we can confidently answer the question and focus on the highest impact priorities.

This article was originally published on LinkedIn Pulse.