Asking for What You Want

All of us have cause to feel hurt, overlooked, or disrespected from time to time.  Finding ways to handle that graciously while maintaining our self-respect and poise can be a challenge for even the most self-confident of the bunch.  In the heat of the moment, when you feel attacked or dismissed, it is hard to muster the courage to take back the energy and the power.  Sometimes you need a cheat to help get you there.

In Amy Poehler’s recent book, the comedian talks about her winning strategy in these situations.  “This is the part where you apologize to me,” she says.  “You screwed up and this is where you make me feel better about it.”  And then wait for the response.

She describes using this technique on bosses, co-workers, and even the rude concierge at a hotel, who might need a “this is the part of the evening where the concierge helps me” kind of reminder.  “Act like they are an actor who has forgotten which part they are playing,” she continues.  “It brings the attention back to them and gives you a minute to calm down so that you don’t do something silly like burst into tears or break their stupid glasses.”  

I think I might try this the next time that I am asked to wait too long, have my awesome idea interrupted, or want to ask for something in a disarming way.  

Let’s try it now.  This is the part of the blog post, where you leave a comment.