Thank You Notes in a Pandemic

I’ve been thinking about gratitude. As many of you know, I am a thank you note writer. I have always done hand-written thank you notes. Since my elementary school days, I thanked friends for coming to my birthday party. And in recent years when I have thanked customers for their business, colleagues for their generous referrals or introductions, and press for covering our company or brands. I even love the Tonight Show bit with Jimmy Fallon where he writes comical thank you notes.

This became more and more rare as time went on and email dominated written communications. I am sure some thought it old-fashioned (like something their grandmother would insist upon while criticizing their penmanship) or a quirky gimmick of a marketer (and perhaps were too nice to tell me). In any case, it was a differentiator. I would often get a thank you email to thank me for my thank you note!

Today, we are in the midst of a pandemic and increasingly people are working from home or other private places, sometimes temporary locations in the homes of extended family. We are, everyday peeking into the private spaces and lives of our colleagues and customers with the miracle that is video conferencing.

And now the work mailing addresses on company websites are not reliable ways to reach individuals who might not be back into the office for months (and might not think about checking their mail slot at all). And even when I know someone’s home address, I feel like it is a particular act of intimacy to send something to someone’s home.

So, I find myself writing emails. Or, regrettably, thanking people verbally on the phone, and not following up as I should or know to do with an email or other gesture afterwards.

So, what do you think I should do?

Move to email like everyone else, but be very diligent about doing it in a timely manner? Should I write out a note, snap a photo and include it in an email (I have done this before when things have come back undeliverable, but never sure if it is appreciated or just weird)? Should I do some sort of social shout-out instead thanking people for being so awesome? Should I get over my reservations and continue (or resume) writing thank you notes? Should I come up with some other signature show of gratitude (eg, like emailing them that I am making a donation in their name or something)?

I am open to ideas and your thoughts on whether COVID is accelerating the slow death of hand-written thank you card and what we should do about it. I posted this out on LinkedIn as well and will do a recap post here in a few weeks with all the best suggestions.

5 Ways to Tame the Animals You Work With

A lot has been written about biomimicry and the inspiration that product designers get from studying nature — the skeletal structure of a flying squirrel informing the design of drones or the layered butterfly wing to help create optical coatings for displays. And I’ve been thinking about how interpersonal relationships also mimic the natural world. Some days, especially stressful ones, I am reminded that we are all animals and need to find ways to work with animals.

Below are five common animal defense systems that I’ve seen demonstrated in the workplace (and, certainly, in myself) that might help us tame our instincts (which have both benefits and cause problems) and our environments. By better understanding ourselves and each other, we can better react to perceived threats and leverage our natural abilities to overcome conflicts and work better as a team.

Cobra: When threatened, the snake rises up and make itself look bigger to scare away would-be predators. In our relationships, this shows up as verbal defensiveness. In a business setting, people who mimic cobras often change their posture stand and speak loudly to exude confidence, and often interrupt others. Their emphatic statements might be so persuasive they parade as facts. At their best, they provide passion, clarity and a sense of mission to their team. At their worst, they can be bullies or manipulators. They do all of this in order to put the idea forward more aggressively when others object, and can become dogmatic.

If you are a cobra:   When you feel like you need to be bigger, louder, or more aggressive, consider instead the power of gentle persuasion and the need to listen completely to the other side before reacting out of impulse. I must admit that I have cobra tendencies and would be served by choosing not to react, but rather to respond thoughtfully when under pressure.

If you are working with a cobra: As a cobra, I respond well when teammates push back with new data points and different perspectives. I would encourage colleagues not to let the scary hood or confidence dissuade them from presenting an alternative views. Cobras can be poor (or incomplete) listeners and need people to tell them the truth and help them refine their gut feelings (which trigger the defense mechanism) to help others see their perspective without feeling threatened.

Turtle: The turtle has been immortalized in folk tales as a slow-moving, methodical animal. An animal who wears his defense mechanism on his sleeve, literally. When threatened, the plodding animal gives up any forward progress, to recess into his shell and hide until the threat has passed. I have seen this pattern many times in my colleagues or team mates, a slow-and-steady person, who only agreed to change on a step-by-step basis and will retreat into their shells until everyone can just agree and get along. As turtles don’t need facts to retreat into their shells, they might not even be able to articulate in words what threat is perceived and what might result from the threat. At their best, they provide a comprehensive, well thought out plan and long term direction. At their worst, turtles procrastinate deadlines and decisions, which stalls progress and can delay results.

If you are a turtle: When you feel the temptation to retreat, assess the real threat. Consider the consequences of the worst case scenario and the benefits and drawbacks of making a change. Consider talking to someone who has a bolder approach for their advice. The goal is to determine if there is a way to step out of your comfort zone and start the changing process, or if the threats must be resolved before you leave your shell.

If you are working with a turtle: I have found communication to be key to effectively team with a turtle. It is important to be proactive with the turtle before the defense mechanism is triggered by a complaint or concern. Break down the larger projects and priorities into their pieces, showing the step-by-step processes and how to mitigate risk along the way. Clearly outline roles, responsibilities and decision makers so the turtle knows who to connect with if questions and or suggestions arise.

Electric Eel: The electric eel is ready with 600 volts of electricity to dole out to any would-be predator. There is no negotiation or posturing. There is no hiding. There is only attack. I have certainly worked with many eels. Eels are sharp — armed with data, analysis, and opinion, the eel can unload on anyone who disagrees with them with a current of logical arguments and justifications. They can have a tendency to belittle others, leaving them writhing on the ground after an encounter. At their best, eels are knowledgeable and persuasive. At their worst, they use the threat of retaliation as a deterrent to keep people from disagreeing with them, often unwittingly. Gliding along in their own “everyone agrees with me world,” they may not know that people are not being honest with them or alerting them to potential issues.

If you are an eel: I would encourage you to balance your initial approach with a committed desire for long-term relationship. Think about the person, not just the power you have. You might win the argument with a co-worker and force others into submission, but that isn’t good teamwork. Remember that the focus of your energy should be positive encouragement, not disparaging comments. Make sure you wield data, not shame.

If you work with an eel: Make sure you do your homework. Know your stuff and be prepared for a sting. Dig into the data with them, which might help get the eel on the same side of the negotiating table with you, rather than see themselves in an adversarial role.  And if you get stung, there are several approaches to take, but the one that will lead to the most respect is to stand up for yourself. It may be extremely hard, but the bravery it takes to say “that’s not okay” and “here is how you should have responded,” can take the amperage out and put you back at a power parity with your eel colleague.

Sea Cucumber: This very strange animal has an unusual defense mechanism: it surrenders. The highly pliable organism can break itself into pieces, sacrificing body parts (including organs) to a predator until the predator is preoccupied and the sea cucumber (or what is left of it) can get way. It wants to end the conflict as soon as possible and retreat to where it can heal. In the workplace, these are often the soft spoken colleagues who are less likely to take a contrary (and never a combative) view with the group. They are eager to please and just want everyone to get along and mind their own. The problem with this approach is that their valuable perspectives are never shared, which does harm the team and empowers more aggressive colleagues. At their best, their empathy and willingness to pitch in can help the team complete tasks. At their worst, they can be an easy target and take the brunt of bullying.

If you are a sea cucumber: Think about how you can best engage and give your ideas without having to sacrifice yourself. Have confidence that the team deserves your participation. Also, consider that the relative costs of speaking up in the moment is more effective and valuable than having to nurse wounds or regrow body parts later.

If you work with a sea cucumber: I find speaking with reclusive teammates is most beneficial in a 1:1 or smaller setting. If I see that a colleague has taken a brunt of tension-filled meeting and not spoken up, I try to draw them out of their tendency of self-sacrifice to encourage them communicate their ideas and perspectives.

Grizzly Bears: One of the few animals with no natural-born predators, I think we can all learn from the grizzly bears to be a more effective team. Unarmed, even a clever human can’t beat the bear. She doesn’t have to inflict, hide in the woods, or rise up to scare away people to stay alive, because she is capable of all of those things. She doesn’t have to be defensive, because she has power.

By recognizing our own characteristics, we can combine our natural strengths to harness the confidence of the cobra, the thoughtfulness of the turtle, the healing powers of the sea cucumber, and the knowledge of the eel. By leveraging our defensive tendencies into powerful tools, we can be a team of grizzly bears — working together to influence others, to excite change, to achieve greatness. 

The work of taming your environment begins with taming yourself. Recognizing your own tendencies and looking for ways to soften your bite or stand your ground might make all the difference. It’s a lesson we are all learning and adaptations we are all making in our effort to team better.

This article was published on LinkedIn Pulse.  

Speak in Numbers. Build the Story.

Often passionate leaders and visionaries resist expressing their vision in quantitative benefits.  Although the story narrative around customer benefits is very important and can lead to the kind of sticky, emotional connection that everyone strives for, if you can also quantify the benefit in terms of dollars saved or earned, time saved, injuries or deaths prevented, or other outcome improvements, the message is much stronger and more credible.  I recently heard Norman Winarsky, author of If You Want to Change the World, express it well when he said “the more you can quantify the benefits, the more customers will understand.”  Numbers don’t stand on their own, typically, but they are a strong pillar on which to build the story.
 

Here Are Ten Ways to Listen More

"The key to learning is listening. It was great to talk to CEO World about this important topic. I confess I'm still learning to apply my own advice here, so I'd better listen up!"

Everyone knows that great leaders are great listeners. But as senior level professionals, our opportunity to listen diminishes as we are the people in the room that introduce new ideas, present plans, answer questions. When we do listen, many of us are guilty of preparing our response, thinking about the implications, or predicting what the speaker will say next, instead of truly listening.

How can we tap into the thoughts from our staff? Here are ten ways that you (and I) can listen more.

1. Stop talking.

When someone is speaking to you, let them finish their entire thought before responding. It sounds simple, but it is harder in practice. Even when we agree, we often interrupt to show we understand the point by talking over the speaker before they have finished their thought. In disagreements, we might talk over the person to communicate our counter viewpoint. But when you stop talking and better yet, pause before you respond, you will likely hear something in that last trailing sentiment that you might not have heard if you had interrupted to rush your reply.

2. Advocate for the person speaking.

As you master the skill of refraining from interrupting, you will notice how often others interrupt. Be an advocate for the person speaking – not necessarily agreeing with their position but asking others to let them finish their statement.   

3. Don’t multitask.

In our fast-paced society, multi-tasking is celebrated. But to truly listen, the person speaking deserves our full attention. Be fully present throughout the conversation by taking notes and asking follow up questions as needed. By focusing on their words instead of using the time for other responsibilities, we can be more productive in that moment, gaining more clarity for that topic and potentially save time in the future by eliminating misinterpretation.

4. Let someone else lead the conversation.

As senior level professionals, we are inclined to determine the topic, set the agenda and carry the conversation. But when we let someone else lead, whether it be a meeting, group discussion or 1:1, we can empower others voices to be heard while giving ourselves an opportunity to stop, listen and reflect.  By being fully present in the moment with the person speaking or leading the conversation you communicate respect and encourage leadership amongst your team members.

5. Ask open ended questions.

When my kids started in school, I would ask them about their day and get brisk “it was fine” or “good” answers. I asked a friend how he got his teenagers to share details of their day and he recommended starting the daily conversation with a story starter, such as “I dropped you off at school, then what happened?” With a storytelling prompt, I found that it was easier for the kids to recall details about their teacher, friends, lessons and activities. In business, this technique works well as you lead people through a timeline, putting them in the moment and likely down a path you wouldn’t have heard if the question could be answered with one word.

6. Be open to old ideas.

As senior professionals, we’ve experienced many of the same situations repeatedly and original ideas and solutions are far and few between. When we hear an idea we’ve already proposed to colleagues or a solution have tried ourselves, we tend to stop listening, often interrupting the speaker with a statement “we already did that.” But if we take time to listen more, we can consider how the environment, products, and other variables have changed since our last attempt. If the context has changed, we might have a solution that could work again or for the first time. By listening more effectively, we can open ourselves to old ideas.  

7. Repeat back what the person said.

Reflecting listening skills are a tried and true method for increasing understanding and empathy. By summarizing the speaker’s thoughts in their own words, you demonstrate that you are engaged and understand their statement. If there is a misinterpretation, summarizing gives the speaker an opportunity to clarify and continue the conversation knowing you are both on the same page and leading to a more productive outcome.

8. Create environments to listen.

One reason we might not hear from our team is we haven’t made the time to listen. Schedule meetings and secure a meeting place that allows for conversation. If there is a specific topic you want to learn about, share a few questions before the meeting, kick off with a reminder of those questions, then stop talking and start learning. Scheduling your undivided attention shows your commitment to listening to your employees.  

If it’s not possible to meet individually, schedule small group meetings, regularly host open office hours, or make time at the end of a team meeting for open Q&A. Dedicating consistent time to listen to your team, shows that you value their opinions and want to learn from their areas of expertise.

9. Listen with your eyes.

A small child asked his mother if he could tell her a story while she was cooking. The mom responded “sure” but didn’t move her eyes from her cooking task. Moments later she looked down and asked why he wasn’t telling her the story and the boy responded “you weren’t listening with your eyes.”

Maintaining eye contact with the speaker demonstrates they have your full attention and allows you to pick up on their body language – their passion and excitement or their uneasiness about the topic. Listening with your eyes as well as your ears gives you clues to how the speaker is reacting to their own words and gives you greater insight.

10. Act on the conversation.

Perhaps the real value of listening more is the response it elicits. After the conversation, take time to think about the learnings – write down thoughts and any action items. Commit to following up with the person, even if you don’t have an immediate update – circling back to reference the conversation shows that you listened and have learned from what was shared.

Asking for What You Want

All of us have cause to feel hurt, overlooked, or disrespected from time to time.  Finding ways to handle that graciously while maintaining our self-respect and poise can be a challenge for even the most self-confident of the bunch.  In the heat of the moment, when you feel attacked or dismissed, it is hard to muster the courage to take back the energy and the power.  Sometimes you need a cheat to help get you there.

In Amy Poehler’s recent book, the comedian talks about her winning strategy in these situations.  “This is the part where you apologize to me,” she says.  “You screwed up and this is where you make me feel better about it.”  And then wait for the response.

She describes using this technique on bosses, co-workers, and even the rude concierge at a hotel, who might need a “this is the part of the evening where the concierge helps me” kind of reminder.  “Act like they are an actor who has forgotten which part they are playing,” she continues.  “It brings the attention back to them and gives you a minute to calm down so that you don’t do something silly like burst into tears or break their stupid glasses.”  

I think I might try this the next time that I am asked to wait too long, have my awesome idea interrupted, or want to ask for something in a disarming way.  

Let’s try it now.  This is the part of the blog post, where you leave a comment.  

Blurred Lines

We think of Facebook as something personal, because it has a password and most of the content is personal in nature, but it is public.  It is open space.  We think the lock on the gate let’s us in, but in fact, the lock on the gate let’s us out.

We think of a public square as public space.  But with headphones and heads-down mobile technology, it might be more of a private experience.  Add to this augmented reality with personal interests represented and the public square might be very private.

As the lines between public and private space and information blur, what are the implications to privacy, to communication, and to the responsibility we have to our fellow users of these spaces and systems?

The Big Concern

"The biggest concern for any organization should be when their most passionate people become quiet." - Suresh Reddy Pellakuru

Because of the Because

A study at Harvard, asked subjects to cut into a line of strangers waiting to make photocopies. When they asked simply if they could use the photocopier (saying “Excuse me. May I use the machine?” for instance), subjects were successful 60% of the time. However, when a reason beginning with the word “because” was added (“May I use the photocopier because I’m in a rush”), the request gained instant credibility, and compliance skyrocketed to 94%.

What’s more amazing, it didn’t seem to matter what the given reason was (“May I use the photocopier, because I need to make copies”), compliance remained at about the same level, 93%.

This is a lesson in persuasion that all of us can apply.  Giving people the benefit of an explanation makes us more influential.  I highly advise against giving a dumb or non-sensical reason (“I need to make copies, because I need to make copies”).  I imagine that would help your cause today, but hurt your credibility long term.  But giving people the courtesy of a reasonable and relevant “because” will make all the difference.

Labels Matter

If you are a start-up, how do you talk about your business?  Are you building a company? Hatching a company?  Founding a company? Planting a business?  Disrupting an industry?  What does this say about where you are focusing your time and energy?

If you are in a more established company, what language do you use?  Are you growing a company?  Managing a company?  Leading a company?  Transforming a company?  Leading a turn-around?  Scaling a company? Leading a team?  Building a sustainable business?  Are you creating wealth for shareholders?

If you are exiting a company or business, how do you describe that?  Are you divesting?  Are you stepping back?  Are you stepping away?  Are you implanting an exit plan?  Are you just not showing up anymore?

The words you use matter.  Think about how you describe your business and what that says about you.

The Tragedy of the Captive Audience

Investors and advertisers love networks that have captive audiences.  They love that fuel dispenser toppers catch people when they are tethered to a gas station with an 8 foot hose.  They love that people waiting for a movie to start in a cinema have to watch something when the lights are down and their cell phones are put away.  The captive audience that can’t escape the message you are trying to deliver.

But, think about it from the user’s perspective.  Who wants to be captive? “I want to be a captive audience,” said no one ever. 

People want to be captivated, not captive.  It’s a higher calling that we should all strive for.

Expressing Emotions Changes Them

I recently heard Heather Andrew from NeuroInsights speak at a conference.  She explained how our brains are separated into right and left sections.  Emotions are on the right, but language is on the left.  So, to express your feelings is to pass them between the two lobes of the brain. 

This has several implications.  First, it can be difficult for some, as men, for instance, have less pathways between the lobes.  And secondly, the act of putting emotions into words, changes them.  Makes them more rational.  Our anger, becomes righteous anger or defensiveness.  Our shame becomes blame.  Our irrationalities and impulses get sanitized when they get communicated. 

Perhaps instead of speaking our emotions (and passing them to language on the left), we should instead use our right brains to sing them, paint them, or act them out in dance.  Or perhaps, that is precisely what the performing arts already do?

What Would Ben Do?

I wrote recently about Google’s efforts to provide the whole product in my article Y is for You: Google's Alphebet and Personal Branding.  I learned recently that one of the founding father’s pioneered some of these strategies himself: Ben Franklin

Ben wanted to be a printer.  His biographer (Isaacson) talks about the lengths to which he went to procure a printing press from Europe.  He wanted to own a communication machine.

He started printing things for his friends and customers.

So, to use the machine, he started a newspaper, the Pennsylvania Gazette.  If one flyer was good, then having a weekly or daily publication was even better.  Those who wouldn’t afford to print a flyer, could afford an advertisement in a larger publication.

He printed books.  The most popular book was the Bible.  But most people only bought one of those in their lifetime, so how could he get people to want to buy a book every year.  He started the Poor Richard’s Almanac which would have repeat customers every year.

Then he began to think bigger.  He wanted people to read his books and magazines, but many people were far sighted and had trouble reading.  So he invented bifocals.

He noticed that in the cold New England winters, people weren’t reading as much, so he invented the Franklin Stove.

He wanted to broaden his distribution channel to allow people outside of Philadelphia or the region to read his books and publications.  So, he championed the US Postal System.

And realizing that it was inefficient to print things in Philly and move them around the country, he franchised and shipped the plates to a friend in the Carolinas so she (yes, she) could build a business serving that community. 

A man with Ben’s broad curiosities and diverse background pursued these and many other ideas in service of his main themes and principles.  What are your main themes and principles that are worthy of the height of your creativity, enthusiasm and focus?

"too long, didn't read"

As someone prone to verbosity, this phrase is a reminder that our communications should be as short as they can be, and as long as necessary.

Call Me, Maybe: How come no one talks on the phone any more?

“Mr. Watson – Come here – I want to see you.”  These were the words spoken by Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, when he made his first call on March 10, 1876. 

If Mr. Bell had available to him all the various communications technologies available today, what would he have used?

Perhaps he would have buzzed off a text, Snapchat, or WhatsApp with the phrase “W - come here. I want 2 C U.”  It might have included a pin on a map to his exact location.  He would have thrown in an emoticon or Emoji that expressed his current mood.  

Or if he wanted to replicate the effect of multiple people listening in on the call (see photo above), then he might have posted it on social media.  “Come here, @MyDearMrWatson. Your ninja assistant skillz are needed” he would have tweeted.  Perhaps a selfie and the caption “See what you are missing? #ComeOnOver” would have posted to Instagram or Facebook. 

Or perhaps we would have just said “Siri, find Watson.”

There are five main factors that have impacted my use of the phone the last few years, causing me to use the phone less:

1.       Asynchronous communication:  In our 24x7 bustle of business today, it is impossible to assume that people will be available for a conversation at the same time.  This is further complicated if you want to get more than two parties in conference.  Emails will wait until people are available.  Even the more immediate text messages will hold until people can read and respond.  

2.       Mobility:  The rise of the text is in direct proportion to the rise of mobility.  People aren’t looking at emails on their desktop, they aren’t talking on the phones (which are increasingly awkward for phone conversations without a Bluetooth headset), but rather they are looking at small screens and wanting to respond efficiently, often while doing something else.  These factors combine to make text (or the close equivalent of audio or video text) the best option. 

3.       Record Keeping:  Unless recorded, phone conversations are poor for record keeping.  Emails, and even texts, can provide a “paper trail” as things need to be referenced (i.e., What day did I say I would come back with a proposal?) or researched (i.e., What pricing did Bill commit to?).  And what is better for documentation than a photograph, which have forever changed the kind of communications we are doing.

4.       Beyond Audio: Photos on Instagram or Super, videos on YouTube, Vine, Meerkat, FaceTime, or the use of hashtags in multiple formats to allow for searching and categorization – all of these new technologies go beyond simple audio to give a richer experience.  In our experience, a growing number of Planar desktop monitors come with integrated web cameras for precisely this reason.  If a pictures is worth a 1,000 words, then a picture is work a 7.7 minute voice mail (at a typical reading cadence).

5.       Voice Mails (from Hell):  I am not a fan of the audio message or voice mail.  It is slow and no one is very good at it (leaving messages, listening to messages, the whole process).  We include too many details, rambling on and boring our recipient.  Or we leave our critical information (like a return phone number that can be clearly heard).   As a marketing executive, I am convinced I am on every mailing list in the hemisphere and get dozens of voice mails each day, so perhaps I am particularly jaded, but there is no denying that it is faster to read a text or an email than it is to listen to the same recorded in voice mail.  

All of these speak to an over-arching trend and that is the pace of business life.  Mr. Bell’s message was surprisingly urgent for its day.  In 1876, nearly everything could wait.  It had to.  But today we can’t tolerate a delay and we want instant answers to our questions, so that we can provide instant answers to our customers.

By 1915, Bell had finished the first transcontinental phone line.  He picked up the line in New York and told Watson to come there, repeating his line from 30 years earlier.  Watson, who was sitting in San Francisco, joked that he would come in a week before they’d be face-to-face.  I guess even these pioneers of telephony would have preferred Skype.

Yes, And

Responding to a new idea or engaging in conversation with "Yes, and..." is better than the alternative "No, but..."

The former opens people up to change and possibility.  The second puts them on the defensive and shuts down the conversation and collaboration.

Try not to use the word "but" today and see what subtle changes occur in your relationships.

Human Nature Explained

No one speculates that anything good is going on.  This is namely because we each judge ourselves according to our intentions and we judge others according to their behavior.  And the more authority a person has the more the "magnification effect" is at play, making each simple or harmless behavior take on new (and often sinister) meaning.  It's human nature. 

Be bigger than your human nature.  Choose to be generous with your explanations and clarify or confirm with people directly. It will save you hours of speculation and add years to your life.

The Secrets to Great Emails (or how to avoid big problems)

My life revolves around email. I use it to communicate with colleagues and customers at work. I use it to organize volunteers for the neighborhood block parties.  I use it more than it should, for sure. It is a horrible medium in many ways.  It doesn’t have the advantages of body language of face-to-face conversations or even the phone of voice of a phone call.  The asynchronous nature of the medium is great for convenience, yet it is not great for building understanding.  And still, I rely on it more than I should.

As a result of this personality flaw, I have learned a thing or two about email communications that are worth sharing.  Before you hit “send” run through this quick check list that has served me well.

1.Watch Your Buts

In spoken conversation, the words “but,” “however,” or “that being said,” all have a way of deflating energy.  They have a way of negating whatever positive thing you might have said before the word but and over email the negative tone comes through even stronger.

You are beautiful, but you have spinach in your teeth.

You are doing a great job, however you could do better.

It’s going to be a sunny day, although it will likely be too sunny and hot

You get the idea.

Before you hit “send,” go through and edit out the buts.  Break the sentence into two.  Think about how you can start the sentence with “Yes, and” instead of “But.” 

2.Scan for I’s

Have you ever finished up a note and noticed that every sentence in the email begins with the word “I.”  That is a great way to communicate selfishness in your email communications as they come off a little more one-sided than they would in a face-to-face conversation.  Scan your emails for sentences beginning with pronoun word “I” (or variations “me,” “myself”, “my”) and if there are too many, edit them out.  Instead of saying “I appreciate the invitation” say “It was great to receive your invitation.”  Those little edits will go along way to communicating gratitude and your regard.

3.Watch Your Column Inches

I am famous (infamous) for the long email.  Just because I can type like a bandit on my iPhone (or Blackberry before that) doesn’t mean I should.  Journalists writing for the newspaper would get a certain number of “column inches” to fill.  You should think about email in the same way.  A lot of email is read on mobile devices (or in preview panes in email software) and if your recipient has to scroll too much they will miss things or refuse to read it at all.  It is good to remember that not everyone is as comfortable with lots of words (I confess and you know who you are).

4.Don’t Bury the Lead

Taking another page from newspaper journalists, they assumed that most people would read the headline, some people would read the first sentence and most would not finish the article.  This means they would organize the facts, explanations, and outcomes of their story and prioritize the important things to the top of the article.  You should do the same.  Don’t bury action items, questions, or the like at the bottom of an email.  Put them at the top or in the subject line so that people know why they are reading.  You can always repeat them at the bottom (with some highlights for the most important things) for emphasis.

5.Be Prepared to Walk

Some things are best not handled via email.  Even for those of us who love it, it is not the best way to confront bad behavior, deal with sensitive or controversial issues, or to build relationships with new people.  So, if you read your email and sense there is an emotional tinge to the conversation or things not being said, walk away from email and walk over to that person instead.  Call them, visit with them, call a meeting, take them to coffee (or happy hour), anything to take the issue away from email where it will only get more spun up and complicated.  You wouldn’t think something as innocent as email would be capable of such rabble rousing and drama.  Don’t let it take control of you.  Email is a great tool and it is there to serve you.

Separating Explanation and Fact

This picture was taken today of the plant in my office.  It is alive and growing.  Lots of green leaves.  Yet, it certainly doesn't look healthy. 

I tweeted today (@jenniferdavis) that it appeared to have gained consciousness and is attempting to leave the confines of the pot.  In fact, the leaves appears to be crawling along the carpet to make their escape!

But that is an explanation.  And with any explanation, it is only a theory.  Others can have other explanations.  What do you think is going on?

The only thing that is known is the fact that the plant is bent over.

It is a good thing to remember in other contexts.  Make sure that in your effort to diagnose problems, assist others, or be witty, that we don't confuse explanations with facts.